Mary thought that by showing up for bingo every Friday night that she would be putting herself in the best position to find a suitable mate. She was thirty years old and desperate–her biological clock wasn’t just ticking loudly these days, it was clanging violently, and she was at a loss as to what to do. She had a real estate agent friend that told her she needed to put herself into situations where she would be more likely to find someone. He had advised her to volunteer at the nursing home and to go to bingo. His wife worked at the nursing home and he and his wife both enjoyed bingo very much.
Mary liked old people well enough–and thought perhaps bingo would be fun–but she wasn’t sure that was exactly “her.”
It had been several months since her friend had given her this plan, and it wasn’t working. She was still spending way too much time sitting at home watching Sex in the City and the Cooking Channel. The more she protested the more he tried to convince her she wasn’t looking hard enough. Somewhere–behind, on top, or underneath these old people and their bingo cards–a prince was surely waiting. She had one possibility–but quickly realized that she was more interested in someone younger–someone that was more likely to be around when their kids turned 16. She realized now that the reality of it all was somehow much different than what she had imagined.
Some of her friends had gone the bar scene route, but that hadn’t worked out so well for them, and the bar scene just wasn’t “her” any more than the “Bingo Scene.”
One day she called her agent friend but he didn’t answer the phone and one of his young assistants answered. The assistant told her that her agent friend would be out of town for a couple of weeks. He had left word for the assistant to help her out if she were to call.
She felt panic well up in her as she tearfully blurted out her problem to this stranger on the phone.
The assistant listened attentively and then politely asked her if he might speak freely regarding the matter–since she had taken the first step by revealing herself to him.
Mary excitedly said, “Of course–I am open to anything at this point.”
She immediately started feeling more optimistic just thinking that someone might have another idea.
The assistant said frankly, “The first thing you need to do is to forget the nursing home and forget the bingo.”
Shocked she asked, “Well what do I do then?”
“What do you like to do,” he asked her?
She held the phone away from her mouth and looked into the receiver. He was actually asking her what she liked?
“I love playing softball and volleyball–I love going to movies and I love hiking,” she said after thinking for a moment.
“OK—this is going to be easier than I thought,” he said.
He continued, “There are dozens of co-ed softball and volleyball teams in the area–join a team. There are also movie clubs that watch movies and then discuss them. There is endless hiking in the area as well–so join the Mountaineers or the indoor climbing gym. I guarantee if you do these things you will greatly increase your chances of finding what you are looking for–plus you will be having fun!”
The simplicity of this plan amazed her. She thanked him for his insight and said she would give it a try.
Why hadn’t her friend thought of this, she wondered to herself?
Why hadn’t her friend ever pressed her about what she liked to do in relation to what she wanted?
It was almost as if he had made up his own mind about what was right for her, based on what was right for him.
Finding someone, or something, that suits you is often more related to what you enjoy than it is to what someone wants to sell you.
If you tell someone you like bingo–you better actually love bingo.
BINGO! That brand new stand-alone townhouse was looking pretty handsome right now!
She was now more than ready to forget that old fixer.
By Charles Buell, Real Estate Inspections in Seattle
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