It is a little known fact that every crawl space has a “rodent rating” (pronounced RAT-ing). It might have a simple, “no-tell-motel” rating of only 1 
or it might be a classy “Mojo Motel” rating of 5 ‘s.
1 crawl spaces simply: have “access” (unfortunately usually big enough for the beast with claws and fangs as well—-but still better than the stone wall down the street).
2 crawl spaces have the same sort of access but are insulated. This provides a modicum of protection from the beast with claws and fangs—-but is far from perfect.
3 crawl spaces have the same sort of access, are insulated, but also have plumbing leaks. An ample source of water for bathing and drinking is always a plus (when the “claw-fang-thing” is not around).
4 crawl spaces have the same sort of access, are insulated, have plumbing leaks and have disconnected heat ducts. This last amenity provides better protection from “Claw & Fang” as well as creates a highway system that allows access to anywhere in the motel.
5 crawl spaces. What can I say about a five-star crawl space other than to add that not only are Claw and Fang successfully excluded, but there is also a much more desirable access to the crawl space from the city sewer.
I think even the uneducated can see the advantages of the five-star crawl space over the others. In the five-star crawl space, the rat is able to make a bed and even a home for himself and his extended family—-with no worries about Claw and Fang. One often finds these five-star crawl spaces with all the insulation removed and laying on the ground. It is then often properly relocated to create “mountain” nests under the plastic ground cover.
Who could possibly ask for more?
How many stars do you give your crawl space?
Next perhaps we should visit some five-star attics, as we continue to follow the lifestyles of the rich and ratty.
By Charles Buell, Real Estate Inspections in Seattle
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